when i was a Nursery kid, i participated in a fancy dress competition.
i had a story book featuring the most gorgeous fairy i'd ever seen. and i wanted to be her. but practicality shunned me from being the fairy thanks to her elaborate and complicated dress! disheartened, i was dressed in a pair of trousers, a floral print shirt, wore a pair of plastic shades and had a plastic toy camera hanging around my neck.
my mother made me rehearse the line, " I am a photographer. I am a photographer. I am a photographer. "
she was so confident that i'd be very convincing to the judges on stage!
when my big moment came, i climbed up that big wooden expanse in my school hall, went up to the mic and said the golden words:
I AM A FAIRY".
and since then began the biggest comedy of my life.
2 years later, i remember writing an essay in class 1 describing my father as an IMPORTER & EXPORTER OF HUMANS. my mother spent sleepless nights after that worrying that my essay would invite trouble for my dad coz his daughter had just described him as a smuggler..
my father is a LICENSED OVERSEAS RECRUITER and no, my essay was thankfully not taken seriously by any authorities even remotely known to my English teacher.
approximately a year later, i remember sitting comfortably on my dad's belly and declaring that i would continue his business. (hmmm... )
in the following years, i recall being so fascinated by the Solar System that i wanted to be an astronaut. but decided against it coz of my weak eyesight.
in class 8, learning about Mohenjodaro and Harappa made me want to be an archaeologist.
FBI agents Mulder and Scully in X-Files, inspired me to be a Forensic Analyst. (hmmm.. )
singing in Church and School, made me want to be a singer and being a part of the Badminton team made me dream of rubbing shoulders with Aparna Popat someday.
WISHFUL THINKING!
my crazy head then made me aspire to be a journalist, a writer, and finally a PR person.
today i'm a recruiter.
After all this, i am still left with a question..
How do you know what you wanna do for the rest of your life?
Never have I felt competent enough to stand up and decide my direction.
there was a clause for everything.
they asked "you sing?" i said, "not very well"
they asked "you write?" and i remembered my much smarter and well read friends and realised i'm nothing in their comparison.
they asked "you good in academics?" and i recalled my not-so-presentable scores in school.
when it was time to choose a stream, everyone said i should have a goal and then only i would be able to choose my stream. so without a goal, how did i choose my stream?
that wasnt tough... Science was beyond me since class 9!
(i rem'r my sis almost hitting her head against the wall trying to teach me that the Mole Concept had nothing to do with the mole on her cheek!)
Humanities was too much theory (the main reason why i killed the aspiring archaeologist in me).
what was left was Commerce. (that turned out to be quite a good option luckily)
thankfully, things went in a uniform direction after that.
but truth remains that i'm still waiting for my call.
today even after sitting in an office thats no different from home for the last 7months, i know how much my contribution has been.
i'm forced to face this question today when i'm surrounded with people blessed with a direction in their life. i'm in awe of a sis respected by her students, and quite a pole star for me too.
in awe of my friends (some much younger than me) who dream of becoming film makers, successful musicians, work with NASA, and the list goes on.
they know what they want.
i know it is the wrong question to ask at the age of 23. but judging the nature of my question is still not a solution.
I'm still searching for my call..
i had a story book featuring the most gorgeous fairy i'd ever seen. and i wanted to be her. but practicality shunned me from being the fairy thanks to her elaborate and complicated dress! disheartened, i was dressed in a pair of trousers, a floral print shirt, wore a pair of plastic shades and had a plastic toy camera hanging around my neck.
my mother made me rehearse the line, " I am a photographer. I am a photographer. I am a photographer. "
she was so confident that i'd be very convincing to the judges on stage!
when my big moment came, i climbed up that big wooden expanse in my school hall, went up to the mic and said the golden words:
I AM A FAIRY".
and since then began the biggest comedy of my life.
2 years later, i remember writing an essay in class 1 describing my father as an IMPORTER & EXPORTER OF HUMANS. my mother spent sleepless nights after that worrying that my essay would invite trouble for my dad coz his daughter had just described him as a smuggler..
my father is a LICENSED OVERSEAS RECRUITER and no, my essay was thankfully not taken seriously by any authorities even remotely known to my English teacher.
approximately a year later, i remember sitting comfortably on my dad's belly and declaring that i would continue his business. (hmmm... )
in the following years, i recall being so fascinated by the Solar System that i wanted to be an astronaut. but decided against it coz of my weak eyesight.
in class 8, learning about Mohenjodaro and Harappa made me want to be an archaeologist.
FBI agents Mulder and Scully in X-Files, inspired me to be a Forensic Analyst. (hmmm.. )
singing in Church and School, made me want to be a singer and being a part of the Badminton team made me dream of rubbing shoulders with Aparna Popat someday.
WISHFUL THINKING!
my crazy head then made me aspire to be a journalist, a writer, and finally a PR person.
today i'm a recruiter.
After all this, i am still left with a question..
How do you know what you wanna do for the rest of your life?
Never have I felt competent enough to stand up and decide my direction.
there was a clause for everything.
they asked "you sing?" i said, "not very well"
they asked "you write?" and i remembered my much smarter and well read friends and realised i'm nothing in their comparison.
they asked "you good in academics?" and i recalled my not-so-presentable scores in school.
when it was time to choose a stream, everyone said i should have a goal and then only i would be able to choose my stream. so without a goal, how did i choose my stream?
that wasnt tough... Science was beyond me since class 9!
(i rem'r my sis almost hitting her head against the wall trying to teach me that the Mole Concept had nothing to do with the mole on her cheek!)
Humanities was too much theory (the main reason why i killed the aspiring archaeologist in me).
what was left was Commerce. (that turned out to be quite a good option luckily)
thankfully, things went in a uniform direction after that.
but truth remains that i'm still waiting for my call.
today even after sitting in an office thats no different from home for the last 7months, i know how much my contribution has been.
i'm forced to face this question today when i'm surrounded with people blessed with a direction in their life. i'm in awe of a sis respected by her students, and quite a pole star for me too.
in awe of my friends (some much younger than me) who dream of becoming film makers, successful musicians, work with NASA, and the list goes on.
they know what they want.
i know it is the wrong question to ask at the age of 23. but judging the nature of my question is still not a solution.
I'm still searching for my call..
4 comments:
i loved wat u wrote... and have just one reply there is no age to know what you want to be but yes the time is always right to do what u want... eg:boman irani.. photogrpher turned actor... grown up by a single parent..saw difficult times...turned an actor at the age of 40....
its just that you are not aware of wat potential you have...n people are too selfish and insecure that no one will tell you what is the best in you... but i know you can do whatever you decide for yourself... trust me n urself..u'l do wonders...c finally on stage u recited u r a fairy .... :) coz u wantd to be one :)
the only words that i can share for you vinu is: ppl who love you know who you are. you mite never know wats in you.
you are inspiration for many.
some aspire to become you.
some wish they could fulfill their parents wishes! you already are doing that.
you indeed are a great human being.
and above all you are : which no one else can be.
(i thnk watever i wrote is a bit but then too touchy but then cudn't resist.
Do something that you wouldn't mind doing again!Something that you love.
It may not be practical. It may not even be paying. But it must be something that is, overtly or covertly, helpful to at least 1 person in this universe.
It could be anything, the bigger the better. But you must loooove doing it. It should be something that doesn't tire you even you had to do it 7 days at a stretch! It should be something that you would not mind doing if someone were to wake you up at 2:30 am and ask you to do it.
It could very well be something that somebody else could do far better than you could, but pursue it if you love to do it! Because you love doing it, you will want to excel in it, and you will!
Don't do it for the money. Don't do it for the fame. Do it because you love doing it. The world might call you "nuts". S@#$w the world! The world might call you non-conformist. S@#$w the world again! If you love doing it, just do it!! You will never regret it.
Now, what is "it"? That is for you to decide. After all, it is your life! You know what you love. Go ahead! Best of lucks!
The money and the fame will automatically follow.
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